Why responsibility is the only way out of the misery!
Have you ever been caught ready handed in the act and you still don’t admit your responsibility?
It is funny when you look back at the amount of times you have done just that. It is ingrained in our conditioning not to take responsibility. I find that children are great mirrors to what the environment is passing on. My 9 year old daughter will do anything not to accept responsibility. This has happened because every time she took responsibility, there were consequences.
From naughty steps, school detentions to prisons, man has been incarcerated at every stage since birth. We simply pass on the conditioning that those who dare step out of line, will be dealt with accordingly.
And so it happens, a petty criminal becomes a gang member. For resistance breeds persistence.. We make criminals out of children, when they become adults, we incarcerate them. That is how responsibility has evolved. Governments, churches and schools all set rules to thwart personal responsibility from an early age.
Parents know this, show a child that you care too much about something and they will exactly do the opposite. For example, I don’t drink and I have never drunk; I used to have a lot of judgement towards people who chose to enjoy themselves this way. Little did I know that whatever you do as a parent, children are watching! My 14 year old is so fascinated by alcohol that whenever we go to a party she is the first at the wine bar. I used to say no to her and she used to respond with, ` only a sniff mum’. Where is the responsibility in a sniff?
I have since realised where this sniff will inevitably end and I let her have a glass responsibly. Saying no and punishing `wrong’ doing only makes the `crime’ a little more interesting.
We are all born with our own WILL, when you are told you can’t do something; that WILL is awakened. Just to check if the response is in alignment with your needs. Even if you probably wouldn’t have been interested in doing whatever is being stopped, defiance gives a flavour of personal choice. So parents beware!
Secondly, we are here to experience life in its totality. Who are we to thwart each other’s experiences? How do we know what the other needs to experience in life fully? I know this from personal experience; I studied hard all my life to become my family’s idea of happy. I am grateful for the skills as I use them in writing now but they are far from what makes me happy. In fact, the opposite happened, for years I resented the idea of having to do this educational/career path. The lure for higher wages only increased my misery in feeling like a slave. I simply wanted to be responsible for my own actions.
The subject of responsibility needs to be explored further. We have trusted all our basic human needs to governments, schools, churches etcetera. From running water to health, someone has to care for us. Like slaves we are constantly indebted to something/someone, whether it is our mortgaged homes or higher purchased cars. How can we live when the door is always open to all weathers? We are cold and starving and yet we don’t even know it. Until of course something like a financial crash happens and we realise Lehman Brothers was never interested in humanity; the only responsibility is to themselves – even that is debatable!