How to make something out of your spiritual struggle
There is a cat and mouse game going on within the internal and the external polarities. This is natural if you on a spiritual path. For the very act of being on a path is to balance your internal natures with your external. The internal being your feelings and emotions and the external being your thoughts.
Since thoughts come and go, we know very seldom they are not ours. But how many of us listen to these imposters in a day? What is supposed to happen is to learn the art of watching your thoughts. Observe them as they come and go as part of your spiritual struggle. I once had a teacher who told me to “Watch my struggle” while I was going through the most difficult of times. Frustrated I internalised the struggle in a way to bounce back at him as if to say,” you really don’t understand!”
Spirituality can be lonely
Now I realise he knew what he was talking about. When it comes to spiritual struggle, you are alone. It is an internal battle. The only example I can find that relates to this is the time of the month when women are about to have their periods. Many women feel aggressive as if they want to charge anyone. This is an internal hormonal struggle that only females understand. Likewise, spiritual struggle is individualistic in its way of feelings. Your thoughts go on a rampage to counter your emotions.
During the challenging moments, this is when the emotions want to surface for healing too. But because the internal is going through a spiritual struggle, you may ignore your healing and stay on the surface. The best advice, is to dive deeper within the abys and examine the emotions that are surfacing. Not only will this be the best healing time but also the most rewarding in terms of expansion/growth. You will discover the deeper parts of you during the most difficult of seasons.
To win this cat and mouse game, I would say, learn to watch your spiritual struggle. The way to watch is to be in the present moment of NOW. What Osho calls alertness, where you are present to all that you do, say and think. Watching is a part of you that can get trained with time. It is like a muscle that gets better with exercise. It’s the part of you that is aware, the part that listens and enjoys music.
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